Alert Apple #8
I am 43, DWM seeking slim, S/DWF 18-30 who enjoys long walks by moonlight, movies, and reading the Word of God. Non-smoking preferred. I am currently incarcerated, release date 10/06. No kids.
"Kim, do I have to keep reading these?" she asked plaintatively. "Every time we travel, you buy 'Trucker Singles.'"
"Keep going until you pick one," I replied. "You're the one who makes the big deal about not having a boyfriend."
The rest of the team laughed. This joke seriously never gets old. Really, Brandi is such a tease, this is the least she deserves. She's the "tongue slut" -- she makes out with whomever she gets drunk with every Friday night, but then proclaims her intact virginity as a perverse badge of honor.
"Besides," I continued, "we really need to analyze these carefully. I mean, you never know, right?"
"Yeah," Anthony piped up. "'Long walks like moonlight.' You think that is for the best chance to kill you?"
"Yes, I'm wondering about that too," Brandi had returned to studying the columns. "And I don't know if 'no kids' means he doesn't have any or you can't."
Mark seems to go quiet during this game. He just hangs out in the back-most row of seats, nursing his torch for Brandi. He doesn't have a chance, you know.
I am a SM, 52, seeking a SF, 30-50 for LTR. I enjoy country music, dancing, and long talks late into the night. Appearance not important and should not be for you either.
Mark is sitting next to Brandi this time, helping her identify the best candidates to read out loud. She's nestled under his arm. She does that to every boy in the seat next to her on every trip. Poor Mark, he thinks he's scoring but he is just hitting the post. Besides, I have a strict policy -- no intra-team dating. Too much damn drama.
"'Appearance not important?'" Anthony shouts. "He must be a beaut! How many teeth you think he has?"
"Yeah, well, at least he's honest." That's Brandi, always pretending to find something positive.
DWM, 64, seeking S/DF any age to share my country home and grow old with. Let's hang up the keys and discover life.
"Oh, gag me with a forklift." I roll my eyes.
"'Country home', can you describe a double-wide that way?" Anthony is a never-ending fountain of these things.
Brandi tosses "Trucker Singles" aside. "You know, you can't make me read these anymore, now that I actually have a boyfriend. Ha. Ha. Ha."
I glance in the rearview mirror. Mark's draped on her like a cloak. "Really?" I say. "If only he could see you now." If Brandi really has a boyfriend, she's going to need to stop cuddling with every guy in the van on every trip. People will talk, especially debaters.
How many tournaments did you attend?
4 or 5
What, you can't count weekends? Course evaluations are so...meh. It's usually whatever comes off the top of their head. But administration says we have to "value assessment", whatever that means.
What was your favorite part of the course?
Listening to different debates.
Yay. Me too. Not. I think I'm getting burned out. Of course, I feel that way every April.
Is there anything else you would like to tell me about the course?
Mark and I have been dating since October. Love, Brandi.
I love these kids.
"Kim, do I have to keep reading these?" she asked plaintatively. "Every time we travel, you buy 'Trucker Singles.'"
"Keep going until you pick one," I replied. "You're the one who makes the big deal about not having a boyfriend."
The rest of the team laughed. This joke seriously never gets old. Really, Brandi is such a tease, this is the least she deserves. She's the "tongue slut" -- she makes out with whomever she gets drunk with every Friday night, but then proclaims her intact virginity as a perverse badge of honor.
"Besides," I continued, "we really need to analyze these carefully. I mean, you never know, right?"
"Yeah," Anthony piped up. "'Long walks like moonlight.' You think that is for the best chance to kill you?"
"Yes, I'm wondering about that too," Brandi had returned to studying the columns. "And I don't know if 'no kids' means he doesn't have any or you can't."
Mark seems to go quiet during this game. He just hangs out in the back-most row of seats, nursing his torch for Brandi. He doesn't have a chance, you know.
I am a SM, 52, seeking a SF, 30-50 for LTR. I enjoy country music, dancing, and long talks late into the night. Appearance not important and should not be for you either.
Mark is sitting next to Brandi this time, helping her identify the best candidates to read out loud. She's nestled under his arm. She does that to every boy in the seat next to her on every trip. Poor Mark, he thinks he's scoring but he is just hitting the post. Besides, I have a strict policy -- no intra-team dating. Too much damn drama.
"'Appearance not important?'" Anthony shouts. "He must be a beaut! How many teeth you think he has?"
"Yeah, well, at least he's honest." That's Brandi, always pretending to find something positive.
DWM, 64, seeking S/DF any age to share my country home and grow old with. Let's hang up the keys and discover life.
"Oh, gag me with a forklift." I roll my eyes.
"'Country home', can you describe a double-wide that way?" Anthony is a never-ending fountain of these things.
Brandi tosses "Trucker Singles" aside. "You know, you can't make me read these anymore, now that I actually have a boyfriend. Ha. Ha. Ha."
I glance in the rearview mirror. Mark's draped on her like a cloak. "Really?" I say. "If only he could see you now." If Brandi really has a boyfriend, she's going to need to stop cuddling with every guy in the van on every trip. People will talk, especially debaters.
How many tournaments did you attend?
4 or 5
What, you can't count weekends? Course evaluations are so...meh. It's usually whatever comes off the top of their head. But administration says we have to "value assessment", whatever that means.
What was your favorite part of the course?
Listening to different debates.
Yay. Me too. Not. I think I'm getting burned out. Of course, I feel that way every April.
Is there anything else you would like to tell me about the course?
Mark and I have been dating since October. Love, Brandi.
I love these kids.
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