Bright Blueberry #4
When she told him reservations were at the place where they had their first date, he knew something was going on- that she had something to tell him.
Not that he was one to talk, with the twice - weekly vists to Dr. Missel and the constant struggles...
He hoped this wasn't about the fact they hadn't jumped into bed together yet- they had been going out for six months, but she hadn't made it an issue and he was glad of it. While he could kiss her without gagging, anything more he wasn't sure about.
She really was a lovely woman- one who deserved more than him. Tall, beautiful, with long strawberry blonde hair and makeup that was constantly impeccably done, she was practically the picutre of femininity. Dr. Missel said this was good, that if he could become attracted to her, that he could be attracted to all women. He just... there was something missing that he had always wanted, and until last year had usually gotten.
That last breakup was painful. It showed him that he would never truly be happy without changing himself, making sure he was the kind of happy that he was supposed to be. God may have made him attacted to men, but he had decided not even that mistake would get in the way of a normal life.
So, there he was, at seven thirty, waiting for his beautiful girlfriend and their table. He would make himself love her, would find a way to tell her that he had once been different, had once been on the edges of society but for her would leave them.
"Well good evening darling"
He turned around and she was... a vision. The dress, the hair... she would have made any other man practically break their neck going for a second look. He offered his arm and they strolled back to the table in the corner.
They were into dessert and coffee before she finally told him why all the worries about the evening.
"I know we haven't... done anything that most couples probably would have at this point. I know you haven't brought it up, but I know you probably are getting frustrated- most guys are by this point, I would imagine. But... well, darling... I haven't told you this because I truly feel I could love you, and I didn't want to lose you. I want to sleep with you... I want to spend my life with you... but I cannot do that without telling you I've been lying. I am not what I appear to be. Even my name could be called a lie."
He knew. Suddenly, it all became clear and he felt some internal line snap. He loved her precisely because she was the way for him to love a woman and be honest with himself.
They had Dr. Missel at the ceremony, just so they could both laugh at the irony. The truth was it didn't matter what they each looked like naked, because they were in love, and screw anyone who said how they felt was wrong just because God made a few mistakes- or maybe purposeful alterations- along the way. This was true love- the kind of love that embraces everything about the other person- even the things that they had thought should change.
Not that he was one to talk, with the twice - weekly vists to Dr. Missel and the constant struggles...
He hoped this wasn't about the fact they hadn't jumped into bed together yet- they had been going out for six months, but she hadn't made it an issue and he was glad of it. While he could kiss her without gagging, anything more he wasn't sure about.
She really was a lovely woman- one who deserved more than him. Tall, beautiful, with long strawberry blonde hair and makeup that was constantly impeccably done, she was practically the picutre of femininity. Dr. Missel said this was good, that if he could become attracted to her, that he could be attracted to all women. He just... there was something missing that he had always wanted, and until last year had usually gotten.
That last breakup was painful. It showed him that he would never truly be happy without changing himself, making sure he was the kind of happy that he was supposed to be. God may have made him attacted to men, but he had decided not even that mistake would get in the way of a normal life.
So, there he was, at seven thirty, waiting for his beautiful girlfriend and their table. He would make himself love her, would find a way to tell her that he had once been different, had once been on the edges of society but for her would leave them.
"Well good evening darling"
He turned around and she was... a vision. The dress, the hair... she would have made any other man practically break their neck going for a second look. He offered his arm and they strolled back to the table in the corner.
They were into dessert and coffee before she finally told him why all the worries about the evening.
"I know we haven't... done anything that most couples probably would have at this point. I know you haven't brought it up, but I know you probably are getting frustrated- most guys are by this point, I would imagine. But... well, darling... I haven't told you this because I truly feel I could love you, and I didn't want to lose you. I want to sleep with you... I want to spend my life with you... but I cannot do that without telling you I've been lying. I am not what I appear to be. Even my name could be called a lie."
He knew. Suddenly, it all became clear and he felt some internal line snap. He loved her precisely because she was the way for him to love a woman and be honest with himself.
They had Dr. Missel at the ceremony, just so they could both laugh at the irony. The truth was it didn't matter what they each looked like naked, because they were in love, and screw anyone who said how they felt was wrong just because God made a few mistakes- or maybe purposeful alterations- along the way. This was true love- the kind of love that embraces everything about the other person- even the things that they had thought should change.
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