Playful Peach # 10
I studied the faces of the people in the subway car with me for the first time ever. I had been riding that train everyday to my “job” for the past two years but I had never really cared to notice anyone else on the train. I say “job” because it is an unpaid internship so it doesn’t count as a real job. But, as I looked at the faces of the people on the train I realized they all had something I don’t: purpose. The mother with two uniformed children flanking her sides and holding her hands showing quite clearly that their whole universe is wrapped up in her existence. They get off at a stop before their mother and she kisses their cheeks and wishes them to have a good day at school. The man sitting across from me in the suit reading his Blackberry (I guess they work on the subway) and even the old lady with her basket of vegetables all have purpose in their stance. Like life is figured out for them. Not me, I am riding the train to a “job” where I am about to get fired. How does anyone get fired from an unpaid internship you may be wondering? Well, trust me, it’s not as hard as it sounds.
I am 28 years old and I have never had a real job. At 24, after 6 years in college I barely graduated from Columbia. The only reason I got admitted is because my entire family is alums and they give a lot of money to the school. I went there because I wanted to continue believing life was a party. There were plenty of rich spoiled bitches (like me) at Columbia for me to pretend to be friends with so that I had someone to pre-game and go to parties with. I am convinced that is why spoiled girls join sororities, so they don’t have to make friends but have “sisters” handed to them. College was one big party with occasional interruptions of classes. After college there was no way in Hell I wanted to change my life and get a job that gave me responsibility. Daddy to the rescue again, he got me a job as an intern in one of his political friends offices. I worked there for a few years pretty much playing on the Internet all day and doing nothing. But, it was to build up my resume right?
I worked at my first internship for two years but then I didn’t want people to get suspicious of my avoiding responsibility so I quit that internship and got daddy to get me a new one in a different political office. The same thing continued, me surfing the web looking up Jimmy Choo’s on Ebay and pretending to work. But then one day I made a huge mistake and fucked it all up.
I was working late one night (and by working I mean I was in a bidding war with a bitch over some Monolo’s) when this guy came in the office. He was attractive, in an expensive suit and looked slightly intoxicated. But, he was being professional and kept on asking for the Senator. I told him that he wasn’t in the office at that time, but I would leave a message for him. The man turned to me and gave me a smile I know all too well. I smiled back thinking maybe I could get this guy to pay my rent this month.
“So, what are you doing here this late?” he said with a sly smile.
“Working, what else would I be doing here?” I lied and put on my best sweet-innocent girl smile.
He looked at me like he knew exactly what I was doing there but the booze haze made him not care. He came close to me and kissed me so hard that I felt like I had been the one drinking Gin all night long. I let him take my clothes off and have his way with me. I got so into it I didn’t even notice that the blinds were open.
Flash! The camera snapped so fast that the photographer was gone before I could turn around. Shit, I thought to myself, Fuck, fuck! My next thought was, who is this guy and is he important? He could barely sit up he was so drunk and he looked pathetic leaning on my desk with his pants still unzipped.
“Who do you think that was?” I asked, breaking the silence.
“Who cares? I am the Senators brother, those pictures will be everywhere in less than an hour,” he said, almost proud of himself for what he had done.
I looked at him with eyes wide not fully taking in what had just happened. I was definitely going to be fired, but worse than that I had taken my own bad choices and impacted someone else. For the first time in my life, I felt guilty for being so selfish.
And, that was what brought me to finally look at other people on the subway that day. Most people would be too ashamed to go back to work and get fired face-to-face and for me it was certainly out of character. But, for the first time I realized that I needed to take responsibility for what I had done. Maybe at 28 I was finally starting to grow up.
I am 28 years old and I have never had a real job. At 24, after 6 years in college I barely graduated from Columbia. The only reason I got admitted is because my entire family is alums and they give a lot of money to the school. I went there because I wanted to continue believing life was a party. There were plenty of rich spoiled bitches (like me) at Columbia for me to pretend to be friends with so that I had someone to pre-game and go to parties with. I am convinced that is why spoiled girls join sororities, so they don’t have to make friends but have “sisters” handed to them. College was one big party with occasional interruptions of classes. After college there was no way in Hell I wanted to change my life and get a job that gave me responsibility. Daddy to the rescue again, he got me a job as an intern in one of his political friends offices. I worked there for a few years pretty much playing on the Internet all day and doing nothing. But, it was to build up my resume right?
I worked at my first internship for two years but then I didn’t want people to get suspicious of my avoiding responsibility so I quit that internship and got daddy to get me a new one in a different political office. The same thing continued, me surfing the web looking up Jimmy Choo’s on Ebay and pretending to work. But then one day I made a huge mistake and fucked it all up.
I was working late one night (and by working I mean I was in a bidding war with a bitch over some Monolo’s) when this guy came in the office. He was attractive, in an expensive suit and looked slightly intoxicated. But, he was being professional and kept on asking for the Senator. I told him that he wasn’t in the office at that time, but I would leave a message for him. The man turned to me and gave me a smile I know all too well. I smiled back thinking maybe I could get this guy to pay my rent this month.
“So, what are you doing here this late?” he said with a sly smile.
“Working, what else would I be doing here?” I lied and put on my best sweet-innocent girl smile.
He looked at me like he knew exactly what I was doing there but the booze haze made him not care. He came close to me and kissed me so hard that I felt like I had been the one drinking Gin all night long. I let him take my clothes off and have his way with me. I got so into it I didn’t even notice that the blinds were open.
Flash! The camera snapped so fast that the photographer was gone before I could turn around. Shit, I thought to myself, Fuck, fuck! My next thought was, who is this guy and is he important? He could barely sit up he was so drunk and he looked pathetic leaning on my desk with his pants still unzipped.
“Who do you think that was?” I asked, breaking the silence.
“Who cares? I am the Senators brother, those pictures will be everywhere in less than an hour,” he said, almost proud of himself for what he had done.
I looked at him with eyes wide not fully taking in what had just happened. I was definitely going to be fired, but worse than that I had taken my own bad choices and impacted someone else. For the first time in my life, I felt guilty for being so selfish.
And, that was what brought me to finally look at other people on the subway that day. Most people would be too ashamed to go back to work and get fired face-to-face and for me it was certainly out of character. But, for the first time I realized that I needed to take responsibility for what I had done. Maybe at 28 I was finally starting to grow up.
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