Tangy Tomato #7
He should never have been there in the first place. He was supposed to be out with his new girlfriend. He paid more attention to her blonde hair, big boobs, and perfect white-toothed smile these days, anyhow. They were going to dinner and a show. He was so tied up with her. She was practically my age! I couldn’t believe he had fallen in love with her and seemingly fallen out of love with us, his own children. I had always been close with my dad, especially since my parents’ divorce. I was and always had been “daddy’s little girl,” and now this other woman had taken my place in his heart.
I had already planned everything. I had written the note. I decided knives were too messy. It was a foolproof plan. My mom was out of town; it was one of my dad’s weekends with me and my sisters, but, as usual, he was spending it with HER instead of us. My sisters were out with boys or with friends, having fun. I had recently had a falling out with my group of girl friends and was feeling very alone. I had no boyfriend, and had no prospects for one in the near or distant future. No one would care if I were gone anyhow. No one cared about me. I had stolen my mom’s bottle of sleeping pills before we left her house for the weekend.
In my best handwriting I had written:
“Dear Mom, Dad, Liz, and Sar,
I’m sorry. I love you. I hope your lives are better without me.
Love,
Me”
I swallowed a handful of the little blue pills, washed them down with a swig from my bottle of Poland Spring. I felt fine at first, then a little woozy and tired. I lay down on the bathroom floor . . . after a few minutes of going in and out of consciousness, I heard him. “Dad?” I croaked. “DAAAAD!!!” He ran to my side. “What have you done, Sweetie? What have you done?” He was almost in tears. He grabbed me and lifted me off the bathroom floor. I started gagging and he gently placed my cheek on the toilet seat then he ran to grab the phone to call 911. I started vomiting. Tears ran down my face. The panic in his eyes when he saw me lying there flashed back into my mind. He did care. They all did. And I was almost gone. Forever.
No, he should never have been there. But I will be forever thankful that he was.
I had already planned everything. I had written the note. I decided knives were too messy. It was a foolproof plan. My mom was out of town; it was one of my dad’s weekends with me and my sisters, but, as usual, he was spending it with HER instead of us. My sisters were out with boys or with friends, having fun. I had recently had a falling out with my group of girl friends and was feeling very alone. I had no boyfriend, and had no prospects for one in the near or distant future. No one would care if I were gone anyhow. No one cared about me. I had stolen my mom’s bottle of sleeping pills before we left her house for the weekend.
In my best handwriting I had written:
“Dear Mom, Dad, Liz, and Sar,
I’m sorry. I love you. I hope your lives are better without me.
Love,
Me”
I swallowed a handful of the little blue pills, washed them down with a swig from my bottle of Poland Spring. I felt fine at first, then a little woozy and tired. I lay down on the bathroom floor . . . after a few minutes of going in and out of consciousness, I heard him. “Dad?” I croaked. “DAAAAD!!!” He ran to my side. “What have you done, Sweetie? What have you done?” He was almost in tears. He grabbed me and lifted me off the bathroom floor. I started gagging and he gently placed my cheek on the toilet seat then he ran to grab the phone to call 911. I started vomiting. Tears ran down my face. The panic in his eyes when he saw me lying there flashed back into my mind. He did care. They all did. And I was almost gone. Forever.
No, he should never have been there. But I will be forever thankful that he was.
posted by Eliza at 6:33 PM
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